


Area 51

by Lunaxel



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Tony Stark Owns Area 51, area 51
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-28 16:07:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19815748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunaxel/pseuds/Lunaxel
Summary: Tony Owns Area 51.





	Area 51

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lostinyouruniverse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinyouruniverse/gifts).



> Thanks @Musiusi, @Sorelion, and @Paradoxicalpatton for helping me with ideas. This came from the Tony Owns area 51 panel in tumblr.

No emergencies, no calls. Boring. Tony Stark was bored.

“Jarvis, are there any notices I missed?”

“Negative, sir”

“What to do… what to do?”

“Sir, perhaps you would to go in Starkin and see how your friends are doing?” 

Tony decided to take Jarvis’ advice and logs into his account ‘Starkiliciousbots’, ‘TonyStark’ was already taken, as well as any other variations of his name he would like to use. The strangest thing about this was that when he tracked down the IP address of ‘TonyStark’ it came from his own house.

Scrolling through Starkin, he notices that Pepper is on vacation with her family, Happy found a place the sold ‘cronuts?’ whatever those were, and Peter had shared a link. With nothing else to do, Tony decides to click on the link and is immediately bombarded with memes. Not just any memes, Area 51 memes.

“Huh,” he wondered, “why are there so many memes about storming Area 51?”

“Sir, the public has decided to storm Area 51 on September 20th”

“…why?”

“Apparently sir, they are looking for aliens”

“Aliens huh…” Tony smirked, “that gives me an idea”

He decides to find the post relating to Area 51 and Starkprove it.

_“Breaking News, Billionaire, Genius and Philanthropist Antony “Tony” Stark has approved of the Storming of Area 51”_

_“What could be behind the approval of Area 51?”_

_“Does Tony Stark believe in aliens? Does this prove that Tony Stark is against the government?”_

_“No comments have been heard from Stark’s Industries regarding Tony Stark’s recent approval of the Storming of Area 51 this upcoming September”_

“Ned! Ned!” Peter jumped in place, his excitement made him seem like demented chipmunk, “look Mr. Stark approved of the raid!” Ned looked up from the not porn on his laptop.

“He did?” he looked at Peter, “You know what this means?”

“Road trip!” they both said at once.

The months passed by in a blink of an eye. Soon it was September 18. Thousands of people made their way towards Area 51, amongst them Peter and Ned who had convinced Aunt May to let them go with good behavior. Many went in cars and as soon as they got close to the base, they got out to Naruto run.

Everyone stopped in front of the giant metal gates that blocked the entrance to the hidden treasure inside. Out nowhere music started playing from the loudspeaker.

_Woke up rich, real bad bitch_

_Playboy shit, that's some playboy shit_

_I_ ' _ve been going in, shout out to my wrist_

The doors slowly opened up. Everyone shuffled closer to take a look inside, among them, Peter, Ned and Aunt May. The light was blinding, there was a human shape figure facing them.

_Playboy shit, that's some playboy shit_

_Woke up rich, real bad bitch_

The figure spread their arm out as if they were the second coming of Jesus. The light and mist faded leaving Tony Stark, dressed up a Metallica T-shirt with a drink in his hand. 

_Playboy shit, that's some playboy shit, yeah_

_I_ _'ve been going in, shout out to my clique_

Everyone was silent. Mouth hanging open.

_Playboy shit, that's some playboy shit_

Peter was the first one to break out of his shock.

“Mr. Stark… wha… what are you doing here?”

“What am I doing here?”

“… how you get inside?”

“I got inside easily because I…” Tony took off his sunglasses, “I own this base!”

… “WHATTT!!!” exclaimed everyone.

“How could you own this place?” a nobody geek that ran like Naruto asked.

“With my money, I bought it,” Tony smirked. He knew where the question was going. 

“Why would you?”

“Why, well…” he snapped his finger and the music changed.

_(Yeah) I want it (Yeah), I got it, I want it, I got it (Uh)_

_I want it, I got it (Uh), I want it, I got it (Baby)_

_You like my hair? Gee, thanks, just bought it (Oh yeah)_

Silence ran in the area again… how could this man be so shameless.

_I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it (Yep)_

_Yeah, my receipts be lookin' like phone numbers_

_If it ain't money, then wrong number_

Tony ignored the commotion and walked back inside, he took Peter and May with him.

_Black card is my business card_

_The way it be settin' the tone for me_

“So, Mr. Stark what is this place?” The people outside heard Peter asked. They all leaned closer to hear the response.

“This Peter, this is my Cheeseburger lab.”

_I don't mean to brag, but I be like, "Put it in the bag," yeah_

_When you see them racks, they stacked up like my ass, yeah_

**Author's Note:**

> The songs are 7 rings - Ariana Grande and Playboy shit - Blackbear


End file.
